Anger Management

In this lesson, I have learnt a lot on anger management, such as the triggers of anger, the impact anger has on thought patterns, physiological change and behavior. I also learn how to manage and express anger more effectively.

Anger is a feeling that we experience when we are frustrated because our needs and expectations are not met. These feelings of frustrations, hurt and disappointment are released as anger. It may also occur when the build-up of past grudges and resentment is overwhelming and cannot be contained. There are triggers and stimuli that spark off the anger in most people. They are environment, culture, individual perception-attitudes, thoughts and perceptions-emotional state and fitness and health. This will then lead to physiological/physical response such as breathing difficulties and increased heart rate and blood pressure, emotional responses such as fear, frustration and rejection, and behavioral responses.

I have learnt about the COW behavioral styles. It consists of Control, Outburst and Withdrawal. I think that control behavioral style is what we should adopt when we are angry as this helps to minimize the damage done to both parties. In the control behavioral style, we should keep cool and try to understand the situation or identify the problem. Then we should examine the reasons for your behavior and feelings as well as those of the other person, walk away and return when the situation is calm and evaluate the situation.

One of the techniques that I have found out to be very useful is the RAP – anger management strategy. The R in RAP represents Recognise that your are angry and Reduce physical symptoms of anger. A represents Analyse and change your thoughts and P means Plan. This is a very useful strategy as it helps me to solve a lot of my disputes with my friends and family. In R, I have to recognize and acknowledge that I am angry and try to calm myself down. In A, I have to analyse and change my thoughts. As there will be negative internal dialogue, I will have to analyse them and change them into more positive ones. Lastly, I will have to plan on achieving the desired outcome. These few steps are easy but useful when dealing with anger.

An experience with anger that I experience recently was when I quarreled with one of my friend. He accused me of doing something I didn’t do and I was very angry about it. We quarreled and after that I ignored him. After today’s lesson, I would have used the Control behavior style and RAP to resolve this conflict. I would stay cool and try to understand the situation, examine the reasons for the behavior and feelings of the other person and evaluate the situation. Using the RAP method, I would calm myself down and recognize that I am angry. Then I will analyse my thoughts and plan how to bring it across that I was accused. This would have resolved the situation more peacefully in that heated up situation I was in.